Wedding Nightmares

Casual weddings

casual beach brideI got married in January. I had a beach wedding with under 50 guests. It was what I envisaged a non wedding- wedding would be. I wanted to be the ultimate relaxed bride. No hype, no carry on and definitely no bridezilla behaviour.

We organised the wedding 3 months prior to the day. I had bought the dress months ago although it was in another state. It was the perfect beach dress a Lisa Brown, raw silk, backless creation from the sunny Gold Coast. If I had the dress I was organised. To a point..
Hair and make-up I did myself. Absolutely nothing too bridal. I wanted to look like myself only better.

Things started going wrong however I didn’t worry. We had a backyard sea view lunch planned followed by a casual dinner at a nearby venue. The supposed venue rang 2 months prior and cancelled due to staffing shortage. I wasn’t concerned. I just booked another venue. It was easy. I was so relaxed.

Organized a celebrant. That was organized.

Closer to wedding date. I make about 150 paper lanterns for the outside area after the reception. Wow it is going to look beautiful.

Simple but beautiful. I buy oodles of cream calico to cover the tables and find vintage chairs to compliment my simple seaside theme. This is so easy. I should be a wedding planner.

The week arrives. The dress arrives, it is beyond perfect. The hairpiece is a perfect match. Double check make up that I haven’t unpacked. I open it. This is not what I have ordered. This is the wrong make-up and I have thrown out the receipt. I have 400 dollars worth of make-up in front of me that is not what I chose. I panic inside.

Arrive in town. I go to make-up counter, the assistant states- “We can’t do anything without a receipt”. I am about to lose it. I am generally reserved, sweet and polite. I am about to kill this daft assistant. “Yes…. but I didn’t actually choose these items…. “I say with steam coming out my nostrils. There is a call to management, I get the desired products plus a free gift, Thank god.

Wedding eve and everyone has arrived. There is a last minute rehearsal. Where are we going to stand? The celebrant suggests standing with the beach as the background. I want the bush, honestly its because I don’t want squinty sun photographs. I instantly tell her I will not be facing that way. My mum raises an eyebrow, she notes my bridezilla behaviour.

I get into bed wedding night early. I need a good nights sleep. Everyone tells you that. I need beauty sleep. Yes I need beauty sleep plus 400 dollars worth of expensive slap on my face. I am so awake. This is a nightmare. Husband goes to bed after few drinks with best man. Husband to be is snoring annoyingly next to me. I am so awake. I get up it is 3:30 and I have to be up at 7. This is going to be the worst wedding ever. I wake my mum. We are both up at 3:30, oh god imagine the mother and daughter photographs…. god that makeup better be good.

I go to bed and doze. It is 7am and I look in the mirror. It’s ok I have seen worse days. I get ready, happy with reflection. Still not tired running on adrenaline. I have turned into a fully fledged adrenaline filled bride. Light, camera, action the ceremony is complete. The photographs are taken, the food is eaten, the drinks are drunk and the day is over. I am exhausted. I still cannot sleep. I don’t sleep for the next 3 days. I am so wired. In retrospect I may have epitomised the relaxed bride notion but in truth there is a bit of bridezilla in us all….

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