Airport Behaviour

planeI love a good airport. Airports are the best place to people watch, shop, eat and become disorientated. Ok they aren’t so great when you have a delayed flight, jet lagged or having a screaming baby next to you that you are hoping isn’t boarding your flight. I have had the pleasure of frequenting many airports around the globe and the unusual behaviour of The Airport.

Top 10 Tips For The Unaware Airport Enthusiast:

1- Don’t cash in all your coins before departing the country. I remember literally running into the ladies toilet (they may have been men’s I was in such a rush….) in an Egyptian Airport. I was greeted by a burly Egyptian woman wanting some coinage in exchange to use the toilet. I had NOTHING but a near bursting bladder. Luckily she saw the sheer panic in my face as we both couldn’t understand a word of what was coming out of each others mouths and she kindly let me in free of charge.

2-It is easier and quicker to declare something from your travels than declare nothing at all. Buy a piece of cheap wooden lacquered jewellery or even a box of chocolates and I guarantee you will make it out faster than the non declaring folk.

3-Metal Detecting Devices do not pick up the wire in underwire bras. This is fact, as I have never seen a woman removing her bra and placing it in the crate alongside her laptop. It also doesn’t register braces much to the relief of many already self conscious teenagers around the globe. Usual suspects for constant beeping are metal arches in shoes, belt buckles and posh jackets with chain lining.

4-You will never find a trolley when you actually need one. I have carried around my entire body weight and then possibly some. Tip- grab a trolley as soon as you see one, steal one if you have to.

5- If you want to be upgraded to first class you will most likely need to fly alone, not have children (in particularly a screaming baby) and your not a dirty dread haired backpacker. Upgrades seem to be given to men in their 50’s from my first class research information.

6-You will undoubtedly have to give up some item whether it be deodorant, make-up or tropical repellent spray while checking through international departure. Apparently you need it in 30ml sealable containers (does anyone actually do this?).

7-You will see someone semi famous such as a bygone TV soap star. However you wont know who it is and will possibly stare slightly too long at them deciding if its your childhood neighbour or someone you met at a cocktail party several years ago.

8-You will turn up at the international airport ridiculously early in hope of getting checked in earlier. As a person that is notoriously late I decided to be at the airport several hours earlier. I was so early that my flight wasn’t even on the board which instilled instant fear I had already missed it… I hadn’t.

9-Often airports have a no photography rule in “serious areas”. People such as myself, seem to lose their sensible streak when travelling. I decided to get my camera out to photograph myself posing in front of the beautiful glass water features while lining up to have our visas stamped in Singapore. It was a no-go, remember try to keep camera in bag for at least 5 minutes.

10-People are mad at bag carousels. I imagine it is the fear someone will steal their bag with their unwashed 6 week holiday clothing in it. My fear- my bag is usually so heavy I envisage I cannot pull it of the carousel in time and instead I get pulled onto the carousel myself. Both highly unlikely circumstances.

Images courtesy of commonswikimedia

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  1. Great list. I can certainly relate to language barriers at an Egyptian airport


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